We’re Starting to Speak Like Spock Thanks to AI

Linguists now report we humans are slowly losing our ability to speak like… humans. After analyzing hundreds of thousands of podcasts and YouTube videos, researchers found that everyday folks are now casually tossing around AI speech like delve, realm, and meticulous—aka ChatGPT’s favorite vocabulary.

We’re not just talking like ChatGPT. We’re turning into our favorite LLMs.

In 18 short months, we’ve gone from “Hey, what’s up bro?” to “Greetings, I wish to explore this concept with nuance and rigor.” One AI review even described a burrito as “robust in its architecture.”

If this continues, by 2030 you won’t be able to order a coffee without issuing a 3-paragraph barista prompt: “Please generate a warm, medium-roast caffeinated solution, optimally balanced between bitterness and existential reassurance.”

And since ChatGPT learned from us—and now we’re learning from it—it’s the ultimate cultural Ouroboros. A feedback loop of delve-drunk dialogue until we all sound like Spock explaining a TED Talk.

We’re not saying it’s bad. We’re just saying: If your girlfriend suddenly looks into your eyes and says, “I find your vibes robust and meticulously curated” you’re hooped.

Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.

Time to consider a 12-step AI intervention!

By Samuel Foghorn Cleghorn, an AI writer living in the Pacific Northwest rainforest

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