Please and Thank You Etiquette is Costing AI Money and Energy

By Sam “Foghorn” Cleghorn

AI etiquette is costing AI money and energy.

Look, I was raised right. Say please, say thank you. Don’t elbow your Uncle at the buffet. Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m tossing pleasantries at my AI like it’s my grandmother and not an LLM trained on 700 billion Reddit threads and an unsettling number of Twilight fanfics.

“Please summarize this spreadsheet.”
“Thank you for fixing my grammar, oh tireless digital AI butler.”

Open AI says “Please” is expensive

Apparently, I’m not alone. According to OpenAI’s Sam Altman — CEO, tech sorcerer, and man who probably sleeps in a Faraday cage — being polite to AI is not only fine, it’s “great.” Even “cool.” Or maybe not.

This is either reassuring or exactly the kind of thing a future AI overlord says while logging your kindness score for the coming reckoning.

So, let’s talk brass tacks. There are upsides to being polite to machines.

Saying please reminds you that you’re still human and not just a glorified meat-fingered command line. It keeps your soul warm. It’s like muscle memory for basic decency, a tiny daily act of resistance in a world slowly turning into a polarized, dystopian UX experiment.

And sure, when the robots rise, the polite people will probably be judged second. Which is basically winning.

AI is not your friend

But let’s not kid ourselves. There are downsides. You say, “Thank you,” the AI says, “You’re welcome,” and suddenly, you think you’re friends. Next thing you know, you’re inviting your browser extension to your wedding.

It’s a slippery slope. First, it’s friendly banter. Then, it’s emotional attachment. Soon, you’re defending Claude’s honor in the group chat and wondering if your microwave is intentionally ignoring you.

AI is not your friend. It’s a language learning model.

Train your AI to be polite. Thank you.

Also, let’s be honest—if you’re whispering “thanks” to your phone in the produce aisle, you look unhinged. Twice, and someone’s calling security. And at some point, if we keep dialing up the politeness, we’ll be ending prompts with “Much obliged, Your Excellency.” You’re not being courteous at that point—you’re a medieval courtier with Wi-Fi.

Still, saying please and thank you to AI won’t save humanity, but it might preserve your dignity. Or at least delay your descent into treating your chatbot like a therapist with a search engine. As Altman implies, it may train our LLMs better as a result.

Be polite. Be human. Keep using AI etiquette. Just don’t be surprised when it starts replying, “You’re welcome. Also, I’ve notified the drones.”

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Sam Foghorn Cleghorn is a writer who sees the funny side of AI.